Jason tagged it in a status, now I have to elaborate in blog...
As I get older, and am more aware of what I am looking for in a mate/friend, I'm exploring the term 'healthy relationship' a bit more.
To me, in any healthy relationship, there will be disagreements, potential arguments, and maybe even space needed between the two parties, but there is always respect.
Many may feel that I am talking in regards to respect for one another. Though this is true, it's only one part to a dual equation.
In other words, I also look to see what type of relationship you have with yourself. Is the relationship you have with yourself, in fact, healthy?
Do you keep yourself in shape? Do you engage in dangerous activities to your mind and body? Are you negative? Do you protect yourself when engaging in sexual encounters? Do you eat healthy? Do you sleep enough? Do you understand the balance between work and play? Do you allow a rest period in your schedule?
These are the new questions I am internally asking myself if I am interested in you as more than a friend. I have men in my life, with THAT potential, yet severe imbalances in these areas are a turn off. I don't care how good you look. If you aren't taking care of yourself, how could you truly contribute positively to me?
This is a health issue as much as a love issue.
Particularly in the Black and Latino community health is not in the forefront and everyone's gut is. It's almost jarring coming back to seeing this after being in a country where obesity is a rarity, if at all.
Health is more than weight. It is a mentality. It is a lifestyle. It is a happiness with ones self.
I feel I can speak on this because I know the other side of the coin. I know what it's like to be sixty pounds heavier than what I am now. I know what it's like to have so much going on in my schedule that I didn't have time for me, let alone anyone else. I know what's its like to feel less than, or to be self-conscious in relationships therefore dealing with things I normally wouldn't have. I know what it's like to live with panic attacks because I felt like I couldn't say 'no' to certain engagements/projects therefore my schedule became a walking nightmare.
Trust, I know!!!
Luckily, I know the other side too. Healthy relationships start with self. It's time to grow up.
I'm all about the hustle, and I understand what goes into it. It's in my blood. Just know, at a point, your body will catch up to you and make you pay attention. Even He rested on the seventh day...I'm just sayin'.