this weekend was one of meaningful dialogue.
people may not know this, but in being a writer you pay attention to everything people say to you. subconsciously, words become jewels. i pick pieces from every one that i have the pleasure of taking part in. many times, through other people's words, i find myself.
i was taught a very powerful lesson as an adolescent:
pay attention to the message, despite the messenger.
sometimes the Universe has a way of needing to get information to you. it's your responsibility to be open to it. advice can come from a friend, an enemy, a teacher, a homeless person...and of course yourself. with that, we must always remain open to the elements, and what they may bring. this weekend i had my ears open and bookmarked certain conversations in my brain. Bare with me as some of these people don't speak very good English.
with Mike at Ninomiyas residence and garden after I explain that i am not religious, but spiritual. i also got into how i preferred Eastern philosophies to the Western world. Makiko is a special needs teacher i work with at one of my schools. Mike is her very dapper (think Japanese version of Sean Connery) English speaking friend.
Makiko " What is spirituality?"
Me "That's a hard question to answer. I feel that religion is exclusive. It is broken down into many denominations, all as more of a way to exclude other people and to feel like one is right or wrong. To me, that is not right. I am spiritual, not religious. I prefer spirituality because I feel that it is all-inclusive. Anyone can be spiritual without being a specific religion."
Mike "Japanese people are very spiritual. We find God in everything. We find it in the flowers in this garden, in the trees, the sun..."
Me "Yea. In my new routine, there are few times when it hits me that I am really in Japan. This is one of those times." Staring into the garden, and the water behind it, I felt myself about to cry. Mike spoke, "Shall we move on?"
we listened to Jazz the whole way back downtown and i had a profound respect for the people in this car. twice my age. dressed in business suits just to meet me and take me to a garden. i sat there, emotionally awakened, in jeans, Chuck Taylors, and Obama earrings.
online with Jey
jeyscott46: you are made to be international......worldwide...
me: i was putting the mission statement and my bio together again yesterday and had a OMG moment
that by the age 25 i have visited four countries, on 3 different continents, and lived in 3 different continents
me: i had to pause...it's like it hit me
jeyscott46: i havent lived in 3 different states!....lol
that is amazing
but i couldnt see it any other way....i told you even at A&E I was like what is she doing here?.....u know evie alot of people dont ever realize their own power....the way you have..
me: aw thank you
these experiences sometimes make me feel weak
it's emotionally draining
but when i get through obstacles i feel like i am stronger than i ever thought
me: funny my best friend, who i consider my hero Bethany has lived everywhere
this woman is insane
and i told her that no matter how monumental the moves are that i make in life, i still get emotinal about stupid shit
jeyscott46: yeh ive caught a glimpse of her doings thru your blogs....
me: like men
yea i talk about her all the time
she said that she thinks it's what keeps us humble
we still have emotions and the men still fuck us up lol
jeyscott46: i agree...if you didnt you wouldnt be you...
but at the end of the day, when i look in the mirror, and i write
i know i have to be doing this
no matter the cost now, the benefits in the long run will be worth it
jeyscott46: oh of course...what your getting has no pricetag
me: huh Does it? shit
i think people forget the sacrifices that come along with going for your dream
that's where your true strength is tested
jeyscott46: and the bigger picture....these experiences will cascade through you guys children and their children.......
me: what i am finding is love, the real shit, support you even if it means physical distance between the people involved
i honeslty dont understand how some people canget married etc in their early 20s
jeyscott46: i definately agree.....for true love.....
me: there is soooo much to see
jeyscott46: and if the other is expanding....
me: and people need to be at a point where they are content with themselves fully before giving themselves fully to another
goals need to be met
parenthood as well
i'm too selfish right now
jeyscott46: oh no doubt
some peole never get there cuz they've never experienced anything
they think there is something more......you will have experienced so much by the time you know you want to ground yourself
with Naoki at Niigata University
Naoki "You are very optimist person. I want to be like you."
Me "Aww. Thank you. o what is your dream? Do you want to be a Math teacher forever?"
Naoki "No, I want to travel the world, especially America. I want to see New York."
Me "So after you get your Master's, why don't you apply to teach Japanese in New York?"
Naoki "Very difficult."
Naoki "In Japan, you work in one job forever. It is not good to move around or get fired. Very strict in Japan. So I will be a teacher my whole life. Not exciting."
Me "I don't believe that. I believe you can do whatever you want. Life is too short to be unhappy."
Naoki "I like your way of thinking."
I then proceeded to help Naoki with a five year plan of ideas to get him out of Japan, and in New York, where he really wants to be.
Thank every single one of you for these conversations this weekend. As I said before, words are jewels to me.
now if i could just get this one person on the phone or on skype......................