This morning I woke up to a rather urgent message from my best friend, B, telling me to check a note her boyfriend T has written on Facebook.
The context of the note is this...apparently for a month B has been on the receiving end of some blatantly racist words and video in regards to her being in an interracial relationship. This has led to the letter you will read below, as well as porn being sent to her. I would like to precede this letter with a few facts.
T is a very successful African-American male (with mixed Black and White origins) artist in Detroit.
B is White. She is also a Harvard and Columbia graduate, MacArthur Fellowship scholar, Doctor Beyond Borders, surgeon, teacher, single-mother, cancer survivor, and under thirty years old.
She also happens to be my hero. B also has a flawless way of accomplishing this while preferring to rock tossed hair, high boots, and short skirts.
She has traveled to every single place I ever wanted to visit on Earth, probably twice, and with the mission of bringing food and medical care to those who die from even the most mundane of diseases, from lack of water and food. This includes Africa, which only adds to the irony of this woman`s letter.
Keep that in mind when reading this below, and when considering the questions I pose after it.
This is an excerpt taken from the attention T has put in regards to this situation:
`Without further ado, here is the message sent to my girlfriend today from "Armani Afrika", in all its graphic and hateful glory:
I don't know if you remember me but i remember you. I've struggled back and forth as whether to contact you or not. After much discussion among my community of friends we discovered our equal concern. Also, let me say I know that some of the other women involved in this discussion have contacted you in the past and sent you some very messages and videos. Know that I had nothing to do with that. Though I may agree with the sentiments, as a woman I was horrified. Detroit is a very small community with a tight knit art scene. TB is somewhat of a fixture on that scene and is admired by many of the younger up and comers. Here in lies my problem. He has a responsibility to end the white girl trophy myth. A successful black man should be with a successful black woman, not a ditzy little white girl who has to flaunt her body to feel important, rather then educate herself and take back her pride. As a black woman I understand your attraction to T, but it has become clear to us that you two seem to be in a somewhat serious relationship. Having you on his arm around town is starting to isolate him from certain parts of his community. I understand that he is a young attractive man who mistakenly finds the novelty in playing with a little barbie doll, but know that he deserves a true queen on his arm, not some little ballerina girl. I know what youre thinking. It doesn't matter, love is blind, yada yada. Well, let me tell you something in this city it does matter. I know you probably think his kinky hair is so exotic or who knows maybe you think it'sghetto and that gets you going. But what do you really know about it with your vanilla party girl hair? You think it's dangerous when you wrap your legs around him and welcome his black cock inside you. Do you understand that everytime he takes you to his bed he is essentially telling the world that he hates himself as a black man? Lastly, let me just appeal to you on an equal level. I see you have a son. To be clear, T will never commit himself to you. You are a shiny toy who will fade over time. Do you really want that for your son? I'm assuming his father tired of you too. Take my advice and take the time while your still young to feed your mind and make something more of yourself. Plan for your future. What will you do when you can't dance anymore and your pussy is all torn up? No man, black or white will want you then.... If you have any real feeling for T. Do what's best and stay away from him. Again, you have been warned. Peace.
Dear "Armani Afrika",
My girlfriend rocks; you Suck.
Why, in the final weeks of 2009, are we still going through this?
In the comments section, I will post the initial reaction I had to this post, but I felt the pure racist nature of this needed more concentrated attention.
I will say, personally, identifying as African-America, yet having an entire side of my family being of Italian, Irish, and German origin, in regards to relationships I`ve experienced a great amount more racism from other `sistas` than I have ever from White women, or Asian women, or Spanish women.
There is a sense of hate that lingers extensively under this situation. I don`t mean hate in regards to the opposite of love, but hate as in bringing negativity to the positivity in someone else`s life.